X-Men Origins: Wolverine

There is a pretty awesome film entitled “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.” Unfortunately, this film only exists in my head, though it shares much in common with the film that actually holds that name, such as its cast and its trailers. Allow me to explain.

When I first heard that this movie was being made, I was apathetic at best. As a prolific reader of comic books, I have been inundated with stories of Wolverine, Weapon X, and the combination of the two for roughly the past two decades, and was not really looking forward to more of the same. Then I started hearing more about the project. I heard Taylor Kitsch (the beloved Tim Riggins of NBC’s phenomenal Friday Night Lights) was cast as Gambit. Then I heard Ryan Reynolds was playing Deadpool. Then I saw the trailer featuring the fantastic music from Sunshine (hint: the quickest way to get me hyped for a film, no matter what it is, is to use that music effectively in a trailer. I’d probably have seen Disaster Movie had it advertised itself using that music. No joke. Well, ok, maybe not.) So, anyway, even in such close proximity to Star Trek and Terminator: Salvation, I allocated a fair bit of excitement to this project.

Then I went to see it last night at midnight, and felt much as Michael Bluth felt when he opened a bag in his refrigerator labeled “Dead Dove. Do Not Eat” and remarked “I don’t know what I was expecting…” This is not a movie about Gambit, or Deadpool. It does not feature the score of Sunshine. It does not feature Ryan Reynolds being hilarious for two hours, though it does feature him being hilarious for approximately five minutes. I got hyped up for a movie that doesn’t exist, and that I shouldn’t have expected to see walking into the theater last night. Apparently, as I was surprised to discover for some reason, a film entitled X-Men Origins: Wolverine is about, almost exclusively, Wolverine’s origin. Who knew?

Anyway, despite all that, I more or less enjoyed my time with it. I would put it on par with the overrated X-Men 1 and the underrated X-Men 3. There are a lot of things in the second half that don’t make any sense, but I didn’t really realize this until I was reading other reviews that pointed them out. While these reviews are absolutely correct, many of the inconsistencies failed to bother me while I was actually watching the film. I am a superb suspender of disbelief; if you are not, this is definitely a film to be avoided.

I largely feel it unfair to judge movies based on what I wanted them to be, and prefer to judge them for what they are. So what is this? A passable and forgettable comic-book actioner that I do not regret going to but will probably not watch again.